Last updated: 08:00 PM ET, Tue July 05 2016

Think Twice Before Drinking on a Flight

Airlines & Airports | VANE Airport Magazine | July 05, 2016

Think Twice Before Drinking on a Flight

Photo courtesy of Thinkstock

You know the old saying, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Well, that old chestnut does not apply when you get good and roaring drunk on a flight.

In this scenario, you may be handcuffed, duct-taped, physically restrained or put in restraints and then on arrival to your destination, arrested and thrown in jail. And your career, or at least your air traveling career, may be prematurely terminated. So here are some words of warning and wisdom.

Simply don’t drink and fly and this is why:

First Rule:

The airplane is not your neighborhood bar. In the latter case, if you are a bit tipsy, and you fall on your face or make an unfortunate pass at the buxom bartender, the male bartender or bartenders or a heavyset bouncer, named Cheech, will firmly escort out of the bar and into a cab, if you are lucky. If you are not so lucky, the cold pavement may meet your face with an unmistakable thud.

READ MORE: Why Is It Easier To Get Drunk On A Plane?

But since 9/11, there is zero tolerance for any boozy or drunken misbehavior on an airplane full of jammed in passengers. World famous French actor, Gerard Depardieu, drunk to the gills, was caught urinating into a bottle, badly. He was forcibly restrained and arrested on his arrival at the next destination.

Then there was the dude, who after a few drinks, started physically harassing the stewardesses and his seat mates. His punishment was that he was forcibly restrained with duct tape, even his mouth. And then on arrival, thrown into a foreign jail where individual rights and freedoms were not always observed to the letter.

Second Rule:

You know another old saying, “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”

Well, when you are flying in the air at 36,000 feet, the air is not breathable. That is why the cabin is pressurized. But there is still less oxygen to breathe in a plane than on terra firma. Studies have shown that in this situation, booze metabolizes faster in your bloodstream. And though you have only drunk a couple glasses of wine or two bottles of beer, you could easily become in this rarefied closed environment, a raging out-of-control drunk.

Third Rule:

Though you may be inebriated, you have been able to hold it together for the entire flight.  You have now landed, are you out of the woods? The simple answer — not really.

Because airport officials have the right to deny passengers who look and sound drunk from boarding connecting flights. Your connecting flight in Chicago, for the flight to the Florida coast and an awaiting three-day cruise. Out of the window, as you are prevented from boarding any plane, as you appear drunk.

Another unintended consequence of your airplane-based drunkenness, is that your deeply discounted rent a car is out of the question, as the rental company looks very unkindly to having their Ford Fusions driven off by a drunken fool.

READ MORE: Armed US Marshal Accused Of Being Drunk On Duty

Bottom line, if you lose control on the airplane and urinate on your seat mate, or belligerently assault the stewardess because she forgot to bring you your meal or over-priced mystery meat entree, you could be fined, imprisoned and placed on a “no fly” list. Making it on this list will prevent you from flying in or out of the United States.

So, just don’t drink and fly, it’s not worth it.

This blog originally appeared on Vane's website.


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