Last updated: 01:00 AM ET, Thu November 24 2016

TSA's Tongue-In-Cheek Thanksgiving Air Travel Tips

Airlines & Airports Transportation Security Administration Rich Thomaselli November 24, 2016

TSA's Tongue-In-Cheek Thanksgiving Air Travel Tips

This shocked pilgrim is glad the TSA wasn't around for a Plymouth Rock Patdown 

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) released its latest blog post with a cornucopia of advice and tips for traveling during the Thanksgiving holiday later this week.

Cornucopia? Thanksgiving? Get it?!?!

The blog post is laden with hokey, tongue-in-cheek references to the holiday and the season, while at the same time offering up some important news and advice so that you’ll be “good as gravy” by the time you travel.

*Insert rim shot*

We’re not kidding — they’ll be here all week, folks, and please remember to tip your bartenders and servers.

According to the travel trade group Airlines for America, 27.3 million passengers will travel globally on U.S. airlines during the Thanksgiving travel period, up 2.5 percent from last year. So, let's start by addressing the 15-pound turkey in the room – the TSA’s words, not ours – which, of course, is the turkey itself.

You might be surprised to know you can pack a turkey in your carry-on. A deceased one, that is. A live one? Check with your airline.

Another travel tip was aimed at all the pilgrims out there – your big metal belt buckle is going to make life interesting. (We’re not making this up.) Your “buckles and blunderbuss” must be packed in your checked baggage. And for those of you like us who were dying to know, we Googled it – a blunderbuss is an old, short-barreled, short-range musket.

Also, TSA agents are trying hard not to be the cranky “Heat Miser,” one half of the dastardly brothers from “The Year Without A Santa Claus” TV special, be prepared – your wrapped gift is subject to being opened at TSA’s discretion, which certainly will endear you to all the people behind you at the security line.

Gravy – any kind and any flavor – is prohibited unless you have it in a 3.4-ounce container in your carry-on along with all your other liquids.

You can read the rest yourself for some actually important tips and advice on being safe and stress-free during the Thanksgiving holiday.