How To (Sort Of) Become a Scottish Lord or Lady
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If you ever wanted to become a Scottish laird or lady and don’t have any plots of land in Scotland or are devoid of any ties to rich heritage in the area you are in luck, because for the cost of a good night on the town you can become a “real” lord.
Then again, you can do the same for free, simply asking your friends and family to refer to you as Lord (insert silly name accordingly).
For those who aren’t yet privy on one more way to waste your money, HighlandTitles.com—the website equivalent of that souvenir shop filled with knickknacks you never actually needed—sells Laird titles for £29.99 (or about $43).
Now I already have a number of titles lined up just in case I ever come into enough money to spend on frivolous things like titles that don’t actually mean anything.
My two favorites at the moment are Lord Snugglesworth MacPillowfighter or Laird Hamilton. I’m still undecided.
Now Lord Stephen Rossiter was on St. Louis’ Fox 2 to explain a bit more on what he calls a bit of crowdfunding for a good cause: continuing to fund a nature reserve through what is really just a fun courtesy title.
Now if you enjoy things like naming stars then get in on your own tenuous title at HighlandTitles.com.
The website proclaims: “When you buy your gift-pack from Highland Titles, you will obtain a personal right to your plot of land, complete with a precise Ordnance Survey grid reference. Whilst people are free to refer to themselves as Lairds, it is only those who own land in Scotland that have a genuine reason to do so.”
Now it should be noted, again, that this is a souvenir title and the main scope of the website seems to be to offer a whimsical gift and preserve nature: “We are driven by three goals: (1) To create a unique and meaningful gift that delights our customers; (2) To provide our customers with the thrill of landownership; (3) To create, manage, improve and maintain multiple Nature Reserves throughout Scotland.”
It should be noted that there are plenty who take umbrage with the practice, which is highlighted in reports like the following from The Scotsman.
As the publication found, you don’t actually have any special rights other than the right to be completely boss and tell everyone to refer to you as lord or lady: “The Court of the Lord Lyon – the official heraldry office for Scotland, said it would not recognise any claim to a title. ‘There cannot be more than one Laird of a particular named estate,’ said a spokesperson. ‘It is not a term that we would use in this office. Ownership of a typical souvenir plot would not bring that person within the Lord Lyon’s jurisdiction in so far as a grant of Arms is concerned.’”
Now that you understand the weight of the title, get on out there and claim your very small parcel of land for you and yours.
Then when you reserve you next hotel stay or dinner you can tell the staff that you are to be referred to with your proper (although not official) title.
More by Gabe Zaldivar
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