Last updated: 09:00 AM ET, Mon September 28 2015

United Passenger Found Full Vomit Bag In Seatback And Now We Can't Even

Entertainment | United Airlines | Gabe Zaldivar | September 28, 2015

United Passenger Found Full Vomit Bag In Seatback And Now We Can't Even

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Normally, there isn’t anything all that interesting in the seatback pocket in front of you. Well, a couple of lucky passengers found more than just a magazine with the sudoku puzzle filled in and the safety instructions nobody reads. They found a bag of puke.

Granted, we may have to review our understanding of the word lucky. But the following story relayed to CBS Sacramento’s Kurtis Ming (h/t Fox News) is no less worth your time.

A woman by the name of Janet Masters regaled Ming with an unforgettable moment when she and her husband returned from Hawaii.

Here is how it all went down according to Masters, via Ming’s report: “‘I’ve seen and dealt with a lot of gross things,’ Janet says. But nothing like the filled barf bag she says she found covered in a blanket in the seatback pocket in front of her. ‘Here’s someone’s bodily fluids that I’m being exposed to,’ she said.”

We don’t claim to be detectives, but it sounds like the work of somebody who not only decided to puke on the plane, but decided to cover up the deed as well.

We understand if you succumb to nausea, just don’t make it someone else’s problem. Please discard of your vomit. (There’s something we didn’t think was necessary to ever write.)

Now the story, which is already pretty awful, gets worse. Masters explains that the vomit actually got on her and her husband’s clothing when they tried to give the bag to a flight attendant.

We now regret thinking, Please, we will endure anything but another screaming baby on this flight.

In any case, the flight attendant offered to move the couple but when you have puke stank on your person your flight is pretty much already ruined.

Masters continues to Ming, “Smelling that smell on us and around us was just totally, totally disgusting.”

Now comes the truly despicable part of the story. Ming writes: “When Janet felt she wasn’t getting anywhere as she shared her concerns with United Airlines, we contacted the company. A spokesperson apologized admitting, ‘our cleaners apparently failed to clean all of the seatback pockets.’”


“After we got involved, the airline offered the couple a $300 credit toward a future United Flight.”

Today we learned that having puke festooned on your trousers doesn’t get you a quick reply from United Airlines. It just gets you an offer to change seats.

In actuality, it takes a CBS local story to get a response.

Now $300 buys a lot. The one thing, however, it can’t purchase is a time machine that enables you to go back before you got another person’s vomit on your person.

The underlying lesson here is nothing good comes from investigating the seatback in front of you.

At best you are going to find some magazine that roughly dozens of people have handled. At worst you are going to get sick on you.

Just close your eyes and pretend you are on a road trip instead.

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