Woman Live Tweets 2015's Most Epic Airplane Break-Up In Real Time
Image via Twitter
Thanks to Twitter, a flight delay and some serious drinking, the world was able to enjoy the unfolding drama that was #PlaneBreakup.
It has all the twists and turns of a romantic comedy with the kind of hangover garnered from sleeping over at Rob Gronkowski’s house.
Mashable’s Brian Koerber brings us all up to speed on what went down on a Sunday flight leaving Raleigh, North Carolina.
Thanks to some coaxing from another Twitter account, Keegs decided to live tweet the entire kerfuffle, which featured drinking, canoodling, break ups and makes ups.
The following tweets also feature some NSFW language. So if you are the sensitive type, you may want to skip what is one of the most entertaining flight delays in modern aviation history.
Like any truly great story, we might as well start at the beginning:
This guy on the plane just broke up w his girlfriend and she's SOBBING pic.twitter.com/IW9QVYxXdB— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 23, 2015
As others are offering, you simply don’t pull the trigger on splitting with your significant other when confined to an airplane seat.
You always want to procure a nice exit strategy for when things go downhill, which they are wont to do in these scenarios.
Here is how the story unravels:
@keegs141 Guy: "I just can't stand you. I can't be near you. I would switch seats if i could"— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Guy: "is this really a surprise? Are you seriously surprised at this information?"— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Girl: "Great. JUST GREAT. I'm so glad I paid 40 extra dollars to be on this fucking flight with you"— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Guy: I don't care. Girl: IM GLAD YOU DONT CARE— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
"I don't want to be this girl. I don't want to be her. I want to be my best for you and YOU WONT LET ME"— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
"Is that what you're starting to do with me? Just slow fade me OUT? Just like the others?"— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Keegan was all smiles:
This is the greatest plane delay I've ever had— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Girl: "you don't even understand why I'm FUCKING SAD. YOU HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME"— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Guy: "You need to calm down" Girl: "To me I just really thought, you know, this was going to go somewhere"— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Let’s fast forward a bit past some sobbing to a revelation:
"I'm going to ask Charlotte. I'm going to ask her the minute we get home and we'll see if your STORIES MATCH" (Omg scandal who's Charlotte?)— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Then we get this bombshell:
What the fuck? Now they're making out. I'm not kidding— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
We took off, they immediately ordered SIX vodkas and Bloody Mary mix for the 50 minute flight and chugged them in silence between makeouts— Kelly Keegs (@keegs141) August 24, 2015
Wow, this thing was more chaotic then the time Elaine Benes came back from Europe with David Puddy:
Keegan relayed her side of the story to Guest of a Guest, which asked about the negativity she is receiving from some Twitter users.
Keegan exclaimed, “OMG I'm getting so much heat. My favorite was ‘is your phone freezing because of its proximity to your cold heart Kelly?’”
Now we are cautiously optimistic that things played out as provided in the above tweets. But it’s always sensible to read with a slight tint of cynicism, especially when stories like this have turned out to be false before.
Mashable does point to an email Keegan sent to Barstool Sports.
Keegan writes: “So the two were SO drunk, came on the plane and I just thought they were loud and annoying at first but then she SHRIEKED and started crying loud enough to capture the attention of everyone in the front of the plane. Cut to me tweeting everything, them being SO oblivious to everyone talking shit around them and the guy spilling the worlds biggest bloody mary on his khakis. He made 2 flight attendants come help him clean it all up while the (ex) girlfriend continued to sob in his face. The guy behind me said “I wonder if they’re taking separate ubers home!” while we were getting off so they prob had to stop at the Hudson News to buy some ice for that sick burn.”
It seems the flight experienced a break-up session even more raucous than previously purported.
We imagine Monday meant lying on the couch groaning from truly epic hangovers for the two involved.
Whether they are still together is a matter of how much Bloody Mary mix is in the house, we presume.
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