French Beach Bans Selfies; World, Clearly Not Hearing the News, Continues to Turn

Officials at a French beach have had just about enough of your social-media grandstanding, banning selfies at two sections at the The Garoupe.

This is not a drill, people. The great selfie prohibition has begun, or not.

The Daily Mail’s Laura Silver (h/t Fox News) reports officials at The Garoupe, a beach in the south of France, have banned ‘braggies’ at the resort. Fear little, because Fox News reports there are merely two sections affected by the ban.

If you are wondering what the impetus behind the peculiar rule might be, good. That means you are following along. To the rest of you, please stop taking a picture of yourself and your cat. Nobody is amused.

Silver spoke with a spokesperson who explained, “The Garoupe beaches are among the most glamorous and pristine beaches in all of France and we want people to be able to enjoy our exclusive beach in the moment, not spending the majority of their time bragging to their friends and family back home.”

Whether you call it a braggie, selfie or just the manner you (read: I) see if there is anything stuck in your teeth, it will no longer be allowed at portions of The Garoupe.

Reportedly, there will be officials who will make sure this rule is enforced—sort of like a grumpier and far less refined version of the fashion police, we presume.

Silver writes, “What the mobile network calls Holiday Spam Police will be patrolling the No Braggies Zones looking out for offenders taking sneaky snaps of themselves during the busy holiday period.”

A whimsical story may have more to do with a clever marketing ploy—at least that’s an educated guess. The last thing you want is for those relaxing to stress over a ridiculous police force. What you would love, however, is patrons hearing about these pristine beaches and trying their hand at the secretive braggie, which is the best kind of all.

It’s the kind where you take a picture, and keep it for yourself, refraining from posting it to every last timeline you own. Weird, I know.

As mentioned in the report, Kim Kardashian is one of the worst offenders of the selfie. Or to put a completely stupid spin on it, she is one prolific photographer.

As multiple outlets report, Kardashian will soon publish a book of her selfies, proving that you can get paid for doing absolutely nothing.

Now if that doesn’t stop your need to selfie, well, we are truly doomed.

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