Image via Levy Restaurants

Take me out to the ball game. Take me out with the crowd. Buy me some peanuts, pork belly burgers, pastrami sandwiches, burger-pizza monstrosities and wake me up by the seventh inning.

Opening Day — a holiday in spirit and, tragically, not in official status — is just around the corner.   

READ MORE: 10 Best Hotels for Experiencing MLB in 2016

That means we get to set our fantasy lineups, open the newspaper to see how our local team is doing and prepare the antacids for what will be a gut-busting good time at the ballpark this summer.

While it may be beach season, there is absolutely no reason to count calories the second you enter any MLB ballpark.

READ MORE: What's The Best Food At Every MLB Ballpark?

Below are just some of the notable newbies to the baseball culinary scene in 2016. Let’s just hope we make it out of this campaign alive.

Atlanta Braves – Turner Field

The Burgerizza

New at @Braves Games: The "Burgerizza” -- 20 oz bacon cheeseburger with two personal pizzas as buns pic.twitter.com/dzOuFfI0ab

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) March 22, 2016

Just because we have the power to bring hamburgers and pizza together doesn’t mean we should. The downfall of human society is upon us, and we would like a taste.

Yes, eating this entire thing might make your belly full and your arm tingle, but we may egg our friend on to order one and then have a bite to see what all the hubbub is about.

Anybody listening to Braves games from home, we can answer your question. That noise is the crowd’s heavy breathing.

T.E.D. (The Everything Dog)

Say hello to T.E.D. (The Everything Dog). Part of your new @Braves dining experience. pic.twitter.com/psggppPi4s

— FOX Sports South (@FOXSportsSouth) March 22, 2016

This is for the not-so discerning fan who wants to taste everything at the park but has only enough room for one hot dog.

This thing has everything you might find at the ballpark. Let’s just hope they went light on things you find in a dugout.

Arizona Diamondbacks – Chase Field

Cheeseburger Dog

Photo courtesy Levy Restaurants

The Diamondbacks boast more than Paul Goldschmidt in the lineup. It’s also serving up a wallop in the above bad boy.

It solves life’s greatest conundrum: Burger or hot dog?

Thankfully, you can now have both.

Pit Viper Sandwich

Photo courtesy Levy Restaurants

Not only does it sound delicious, but it’s also a manageable size. According to Levy Restaurants, which operates seven ballpark concessions around MLB, this sandwich features smoked pork, a special sauce and caramelized onions. Oh, and it’s fried.

Miami Marlins – Marlins Park

Pot Roast Grilled Cheese

Photo courtesy Levy Restaurants

If you would rather hibernate for the season, you an down one of these kitchen-sink items that also boasts horseradish for extra zing among the macaroni, cheese and roasted beef.

The Marlins, as you will see, are bursting with flavor this season.

Ballpark Bash

Photo courtesy Levy Restaurants

As we all know, bacon makes everything better. This is the equivalent of a pork-fueled sprint around the bases: “Smashed and seared beef blend, topped with braised pork belly, lager beer cheese, red onions and whole grain Dijonnaise on a pretzel bun.”

BBQ Pork Dog

Photo courtesy Levy Restaurants

Somebody up there gets us.

For those who want the barbecue picnic with a baseball atmosphere you have come to the right place.

Smoked pork joins barbecue beans and crisp slaw for an All-Star menu item.

Texas Rangers - Globe Life Park

Chicken & Donut Skewer

Fried chicken & donut skewer?

Just one of many wild new food items ready for Opening Day: https://t.co/qYoVYg4dLd pic.twitter.com/19AXDUss1u

— ESPN (@espn) March 25, 2016

There comes a time in your life when you have to sit back and contemplate your blessings.

Forget whether or not your team might win the pennant. The beauty of this sport is that you can now head out with your family, head to the concession stand and order what has to be the most emotionally moving menu item ever imagined.

We are getting a little teary just thinking about how good this might be.

Pittsburgh Pirates - PNC Park

Cracker Jack & Mac Dog

More food. Cracker Jack and mac & cheese are a thing thanks to an MLB team - https://t.co/pxAfMcLRwx pic.twitter.com/sPNnl0U5S9

— Arizona Sports (@AZSports) March 24, 2016

We aren’t entirely sure that Cracker Jack goes with hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Well, it’s a tenuous proposition in one mouthful.

We love the creative thinking, we just think this is the sign that we should conclude the proceedings and tell all of MLB that they have now hit that proverbial wall.

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