The next time you find yourself complaining about traveling conditions, be grateful.

Why?

Because chances are you have never had it as bad as the travelers involved in the craziest travel stories of 2013.

This year's crop of outlandish travel stories are hard to believe, but, make no mistake about it, these things actually happened.

Whether it be a nightmare cruise or a Whitney Houston fan singing "I Will Always Love You" as she is escorted off the plane by police, this year came with plenty of surprises.

Here are the 10 craziest travel stories of 2013.

Whitney Houston Fan Causes Plane to Make Emergency Landing

Who hasn't wanted to belt out "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston in a moment of triumph?

The only thing is, this wasn't exactly a moment of triumph.

On an American Airlines flight from Los Angeles to New York in May, one woman was  allegedly being so unruly that the plane had to make an emergency landing … in Kansas City.

Kansas City International Airport spokesman Joe McBride said on Friday, per KCTV, "The woman was being disruptive and was removed from the plane for interfering with the flight crew. There was a federal air marshal on the aircraft, who subdued the woman and put her in cuffs and removed her from the plane."

One passenger was able to get some video of the woman belting out "I Will Always Love You." We all thank this passenger from the bottom of our hearts.

Luxurious Cruise, This is Not

This story will surely be told for generations. One cursed Carnival Triumph cruise ship suffered an engine fire in February. As a result, passengers had to wait five days before the ship was eventually towed into Mobile, Alabama.

On top of that, those five days resembled a nightmare. Hallways were reportedly flooded with human waste and the trip was later dubbed "poop cruise" because passengers had to go to the bathroom in bags.

There was no air conditioning or running water and passengers had to scavenge for food. Some passengers were actually crying when they finally arrived to port.

"Home Sweet Alabama" indeed.

I'm Getting Air Sick

Flying nearly 14 hours is bad enough.

Add in a tour group with food poisoning and you have a disaster on your hands.

A grand total of 26 passengers with gastroenteritis boarded a Qantas flight from Santago, Chile, to Sydney Airport on July 31. Naturally, there was much vomit and diarrhea. And with only seven bathrooms in the plane, some of the ill passengers ended up vomiting in their seats.

One of the passengers aboard broke it down via Twitter:

Those in Economy Class spewed. Those in Business Class vomited. Those in First Class regurgitated.

— Michael Byrnes (@MichaelByrnes) August 1, 2013

Sleeping Passenger Left On Board

One man was left on board an ExpressJet plane after it touched down at Houston's Bush Intercontinental Airport in early December.

Apparently, nobody noticed the man was sleeping and he was locked inside the aircraft.

He woke up with all the lights out and nobody on the plane.

Fortunately, he was able to get a hold of his girlfriend and she alerted airport security.

By the way, I'm never falling asleep on an airplane again.

Snake on a Plane

In September, one Qantas flight was delayed because the crew found a tiny exotic snake on board.

Cue the famous line from Samuel L. Jackson in "Snakes on a Plane."

Passengers were given hotel rooms for the night because the jet had to be fumigated in case any other snakes were on board.

The staff had no idea how the eight-inch Mandarin Rat Snake got on the plane.

Taking "Star Wars" Seriously

A Sun Country Airlines flight from Minneapolis to Seattle had to make an emergency landing in Spokane in September when staff reported the smell of smoke.

There was no fire, though. Allegedly, a passenger burned holes in the fabric near his seat…with two small homemade lasers.

Just when you thought this world couldn't get any crazier, it outdoes itself.

Mike Tyson Impersonator Bites Off Chunk of Actor's Ear

Clive Mantle of "Game of Thrones" had to be taken to the hospital in March because somebody reportedly bit off a part of his right ear.

That's right, during a dispute at a Newcastle Travelodge hotel, the 55-year-old was allegedly attacked after confronting guests and asking them to keep the noise down. He had to get the other part of his ear sewn back together.

This story is mind-boggling on so many levels.

Violent Passenger Restrained with Duct Tape

It took a grand total of nine days in 2013 to get our first truly bizarre travel story.

And it's a doozy.

One man reportedly drank an entire bottle of duty-free alcohol, then boarded an Iceland Air flight from Rejkjavik to New York's John F. Kennedy Airport at the start of the year.

The rest is history.

The man eventually began screaming and hitting other passengers. He even reportedly tried to choke a person next to him while yelling, "The plane is going to crash!"

Of course, that's not the end of the story. Deciding they had endured enough, the rest of the passengers took action, tying the man to his seat with duct tape and zip ties for the remainder of the flight.

That man should have never messed with that flight full of "MacGyver" fans … just kidding.

World's First Remote-Controlled Tourist

In October, Melbourne tested out a rather unique project in hopes of boosting tourism.

People in Melbourne acted as remote-controlled tourists, traveling the city and responding to requests while sporting helmet-mounted cameras and microphones. Requests included dancing and freeing the lobsters from a seafood restaurant.

The project received a good deal of publicity, as its live video and audio feeds were highly entertaining and educational.

Pilot Releases Rap Video About Working Conditions

Amid turmoil at Air India in February, one pilot decided it would be a good idea to release an expletive-laden rap video lamenting the airline's work conditions.

To his credit, the pilot did include a disclaimer with the video that read:

“Dear friends and fellow pilots, the following content is not meant to harm anyone’s feelings for the company. I love Air India and am very thankful to ICPA for making every effort to get us out the mess we are in [sic]. This is for all you guys…enjoy the music video."

Still, if you feel you need to include a disclaimer that "the content is not meant to harm anyone's feelings for the company," perhaps you shouldn't release the video altogether.

The pilot's bosses weren't happy, but the video has received more than 225,000 views … so there's that.

Warning: Video NSFW

Did I miss anything? Hit me up at rrudnansky@travalliance.com.

Follow me on Twitter @RyanRudnansky.