Iceland is beautiful, engaging and spiritually intoxicating. Some might say it's the pineapple pizza of the food world.
We can say that because pineapple pizza is delicious. It's equal parts dazzling fruitiness and savory scrumptiousness. We couldn't fathom the kind of monster that would take umbrage with such a meal, and then we read about Iceland's President Gudni Th. Johannesson.
The Guardian reports on a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek response to another world leader's travel ban.
While answering questions at a local high school, the president explained that he was fundamentally opposed to that meal he views as a culinary abomination, the pineapple pizza. He states: "I do not have the power to make laws which forbid people to put pineapples on their pizza. I am glad I do not hold such power."
Johannesson continues, "I would not want to hold this position if I could pass laws forbidding that which I don't like."
Then he follows with a very peculiar, "For pizzas, I recommend seafood."
Yes, seafood. As if putting cod on a slice is any better than the tantalizing journey you take your taste buds when devouring a pineapple and jalapeno pizza, but this is just what we have come to expect from a nation that has given us the following, a brief list of foods we formally protest.
In fact, they should be banned now.
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Hakarl:
Hakarl is a collection of whatever they find under park benches sautéed in garlic and whatever you find in the back of the fridge in that container you totally forgot you had.
Just kidding.
Actually, the above might be more palatable when you consider Hakarl is essentially fermented shark meat. Now, Hakarl is the MVP when it comes to Icelandic food we want banned. However, Guide To Iceland's Nanna Gunnarsdottirat has an awesome breakdown of 20 other suspect Icelandic delicacies, a few of which deserve our ridicule in response to this pineapple pizza outrage.
Surir Hrutspungar:
As Gunnarsdottirat explains, you don't have to worry too much about trying this as it's not a common dish anymore.
That's good because TripBucket doesn't make it seem all that delightful: "The (ram) testicles are pressed in blocks, boiled and cured in lactic acid."
If your server at the restaurant ever greets you with this description, you are free to just walk out.
Whale Meat:
OK, we included this one simply for the immediate reaction we had when reading it on the list. We can almost taste the chewiness of the imagined blubber and the regret from eating a protected animal.
Thankfully, we can almost cross this off the list. Almost. We still have to try what is described as really good sushi: "It's often described as a cross between beef and tuna (although it's not fishy at all!) It's delicious raw, eaten like a sushi with wasabi and soy sauce - but equally good when cooked rare and served with all the trimmings you'd normally have with a beef steak."
As a bonus, Gunnarsdottirat explains that this dish is actually minke whale, which isn't endangered and never has been.
Hvalspik:
Remember when we wrote about gnawing on blubber. Well, there you go.
Katharina Hauptmann, writing for IcelandReview.com, explains, "Whale blubber. Pickled whale blubber. Yuk. It tastes how it sounds."
Kutmagar:
If you ever wanted to try cod's stomach at home-shame on you, we judge you-this recipe from Aaron Cripps' blog should help along the way. First, go to your local fishmonger and ask them for the worst thing in the house, the cod stomach. Then you proceed to prepare the thing with items like salt, pepper and rye. Yum!
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The above was made in complete jest. I actually look forward to one day trying at least a bite of all of these just to say I did so. That I may double over in a sudden wave of nausea just means we can say we lived.
Gunnarsdottirat actually does a great job selling us on some things that we might not otherwise try, like fishballs, sheep's head and Saltur, which is like haggis. Then again, we are far more tolerant than tyrants that would even think to ban pineapple from pizzas-something that remains one of life's pure pleasures.
Now, get on out there and remember to wear a bib and always remain tolerant of other people's food choices.
Unless they are eating putrefied shark. In this case, find somewhere else to sit.
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