25 Things You Shouldn't Do on a Cruise

A cruise is an escape. It's a chance for equal parts party and relaxation, with an emphasis leaning either way, depending on your proclivities.

Above all, the goal is to have fun.

But despite the relatively loose nature of cruises, there are some things you just should not do on the boat, ranging from the specific to the general to just some good old-fashioned advice.

Here are 25 things you just don't do on a cruise.

(In no particular order.)

A lot of passengers try to tough it out. Don't be a hero. You're not the only one on the ship feeling a little nauseous. Take the Dramamine, wear the patch, do what you have to do.

Um, that's the ocean out there. It's mighty and it's magnificent and it holds thousands of living creatures. It's most decidedly NOT your personal garbage-not chewing gum, not a soda can, not a tissue. Just don't do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. You want that great picture from the edge of the boat with the ocean in the background. Sorry, but that's just an invitation to join the list of people who have fallen overboard. Avoid it.

Look, with thousands of folks on the ship there's bound to be one or two who will have, how shall we put this, nefarious intentions. When you're not in your cabin, lock the balcony door. When you're going to bed for the night, lock the balcony door. Between potential theft, wind gusts and insects, it's best to keep it closed.

You are paying good money for a cruise, but you're also paying good money for that boat to take you to new and wonderful places. Why wouldn't you get off and spend the day soaking in a new culture? It's not like you would stay on the plane or at the gate if you flew somewhere, would you?

Excursions are great, but they tend to border on being overpriced. We're not saying to abandon all excursions; we're just saying don't limit yourself to them. Get out and explore a little on your own.

A cruise ship is a state of the art hotel on water with a ton-literally-of moving pieces and a lot of crew and staff. Don't be that person who feels the need to go explore areas of the ship that are restricted.

Virtually every cruise ship has a 24-hour restaurant onboard, and virtually every one of those is the buffet. There is absolutely no reason for you to wrap up a donut or three in some napkins and take it back to the cabin.

Just like the pilot is the supreme authority in the air, the captain is the end-all, be-all on a cruise ship. If you cause an issue onboard, you can be detained, you can be arrested and you can be removed from the ship.

You could get sick. You could miss your cruise. Your luggage could be lost. We're not saying any of these things are going to happen to you, but it's always better to err on the side of caution when taking a cruise.

The ship should have wi-fi, so be sure to connect to that. Because if you don't, well, ask anybody who's ever gotten home from a cruise and realized they accidentally connected to a foreign cell tower and accumulated roaming charges.

Listen, the bottom line here is, don't be that person that gets up at 6 a.m., goes down to the pool and claims a deck chair-or three-by throwing a towel or some other marker on it, and then goes back to bed until 9, gets up, has something to eat and finally arrives at the pool at 10:30.

Hey, everybody has to make a living. We get it. But, traditionally, the shops right in port are paying top dollar for that space-and then passing along the costs to the tourist. Branch out further, especially if you can get into the city.

You know how they say it would take you something like 12 years to eat in every New York City restaurant one time? Yeah, well, that's what a cruise is like. The amount of things to do and see is overwhelming. So don't even try to fit it all in. Enjoy at your own pace.

Great unkept secret about cruise ships: a decent percentage of passengers who made reservations for a show end up being no-shows. That's good for you. If you didn't make reservations, line up in the standby line about a half-hour before a show begins. Odds are you'll get in.

Like, ever. Like, no matter what line it is-buffet, excursion, musical show, whatever. No. 1, it's not cool. No. 2, you could get your keyster kicked.

Stuff happens. Bags get lost, bags get delivered to the wrong suite, bags get delayed. Whatever you think is most important to you on that first day-medicine, all money, passports, a day's worth of clothes-should be in your carry-on.

Oh, by all means, get some souvenirs that have the cruise line's logo and insignia. But you'll find better deals in town when you dock if you're looking for jewelry and clothing.

If you wanted to waste a grand, you could have stayed home. Cruise ships are floating palaces with a plethora of things to do. Enjoy them. Enjoy as much as you can. We're not saying don't relax, just that you shouldn't sleep for 14 hours.

Sit down and do the math before you book your cruise. Unless you plan on drinking alcohol for 16 hours a day, it might not be to your benefit to pay ahead for the all you can drink package when all you're going to drink is a few glasses of wine with dinner.

Yes, it's convenient. It's also expensive, unless you get it comped. Plus, as previously mentioned, virtually all ships have a 24-hour dining room.

Yes, there's a ton of extra room than a regular cabin, even one with a balcony. But think about everything there is to do on a cruise and then ask yourself, "Am I really going to be in the suite enough to enjoy it?"

It's hot. And the sun bouncing off the ocean and the swimming pool makes you even more susceptible to sunburn.

Yes, as we said, a cruise is like a floating hotel. But unlike a hotel that's always going to be there, and unlike a hotel that you can call and say you're delayed and please hold your room, when a cruise has a 6 p.m. departure it has a 6 p.m. departure. Don't take any chances. Fly in to your port of call the day before.

Not only will using the stairs help you work off that big meal, you'll be doing everybody a favor by not clogging up the elevator if you're only going one or two flights.