Kirsten Palladino is the co-founder and editorial director of Equally Wed, and the author of the book Equally Wed: The Ultimate Guide to Planning Your LGBTQ+ Wedding (Seal Press/Hachette Book Group). We spoke with her recently about what LGBTQ couples are looking for in destination weddings and honeymoon locations.

TP: Tell us about how Equally Wed started, and what its mission is.

KP: My spouse and I launched Equally Wed in March 2010, after discovering a gaping void of wedding inspiration and information for LGBTQ+ couples when we were planning our own wedding the year before. Our editorial mission has always been one of inspiring and spotlighting LGBTQ+ weddings, engagements and honeymoon destinations, as well as keeping our readers apprised of marriage equality news.

When we launched, only six states in the country offered marriage equality. Now it’s a federal reality. We’re an international wedding website and continue to shine a light on what’s happening around the world. In addition, it has been crucial from the jump for us to provide our readers with our recommendations of equality-minded wedding vendors and venues—where celebrants can trust that they’ll not only be treated well but also that their love will be celebrated.

TP: What trends have you seen in queer weddings in the past few years since we’ve reached marriage equality in all 50 states?

KP: There’s been a huge increase in LGBTQ+ couples marrying younger as well as older couples (75 years and up) having weddings they’ve waited a lifetime to have. We’re seeing more couples make the weddings their own. One thing I love so much about LGBTQ+ weddings is that we can use elements that we want from centuries of hetero weddings—but discard what we don’t want.

TP: How do queer wedding ceremonies tend to divert from straight weddings, if at all?

KP: Well, of course, the obvious: who is standing at the altar or chuppah. And honestly, that's where the difference matters. Because as LGBTQ+ people, we face more discrimination leading up to the wedding.

We have to worry about coming out to the person selling us the gown or suit, we don’t know if the florist is going to be confused or if the baker will say it would be a sin for him to support us with his wedding cake.

We can’t just go honeymoon anywhere we want without considering if we’re going to be safe holding hands on the beach. If one of us were to die on our honeymoon (it’s happened to a couple I know), would it be in a country where they refuse to release the body to your new spouse because they don’t acknowledge your marriage? And if this seems negative, it’s because we as a community still have an incredible amount of challenges to overcome. Which is why it’s so joyous when we do get married. I hear from all orientations that queer weddings are their favorite to attend because it’s such a celebration of freedom and hard-won rights.

TP: Are there major differences you’re seeing in choices being made for gay vs. lesbian weddings?

KP: I’m glad you asked this because there are experts in my field who would like you to believe that there are. But truly, there aren’t beyond who’s getting married. Gays and lesbians are as varied as any other community, and it unfairly stereotypes them to assume one group has a lower budget or one group likes to party more.

TP: Are same-sex couples any more likely to choose destination weddings, as opposed to opposite-sex couples? What types of settings and locations are they most likely to choose?

KP: It really depends on where the couple lives. If they’re residents of a truly homophobic or transphobic area and are having trouble finding vendors who’ll lovingly serve them, they are much more likely to choose to have a destination wedding. But, of course, that’s not the only reason couples opt for destination weddings.

Destination weddings are fun, provide an exciting adventure for everyone involved, and are incredibly romantic. Destination weddings for LGBTQ+ couples that Equally Wed features tend to be in tropical locations in areas known to be equality-minded. The most-featured LGBTQ+ destination wedding area continues to be the Riviera Maya just outside of Cancun, Mexico. There are homophobic resorts, but there are also incredibly welcoming locales as well. Do your research and ask questions when looking for your venue and all of your vendors.

TP: What are the hottest LGBTQ honeymoon destinations?

KP: Italy, queer-friendly islands in the Caribbean such as Aruba and St. Maarten, Iceland, New York, and Tahiti.

TP: How are queer couples looking for honeymoon locations? What’s most important to them?

KP: Safety and adventure, as well as places where they can be free to be themselves. And it truly varies, because we have readers who just go where they want to go and don’t worry so much about how they’ll be treated or what the laws are in the location they’re going to.

We also have readers who care very much and are concerned for their safety and comfort—as well as not wanting to give their money to places that discriminate against them. Just like any minority group or segment of the population, we've got an assortment of opinions!

Also, just a note, while you might be selecting an LGBTQ+ friendly destination, we cannot always predict the opinions—and more importantly, the behavior—of the other guests. Word of mouth and LGBTQ-focused publications are best bets for getting recommendations of where to go and learning first-hand experiences.

TP: What advice do you have for destinations and resorts that are interested in marketing to queer couples as honeymoon choices?

KP: Don’t be afraid to be proud of being equality-minded. Put queer couples in your marketing, social media, on your homepage. It deters bigots from coming to your property and lets our community know they’re welcome.

Advertise and support LGBTQ+ publications and local equality organizations. But go beyond that and train your entire staff—maintenance, housekeeping, front desk, event planners, bartenders, everyone—on the venue’s welcoming attitude and the importance of hospitality and kindness.

If you want to learn more specific ways, I invite you to come to equallywedpro.com, where we offer an abundance of advice for event and hospitality companies wishing to use best practices with the LGBTQ+ community, as well as a certification program in equality-mindedness.