Since 1990, the SkyMall catalog has been your go-to way to kill a few minutes until you can finally power up your personal electronics. We've all rifled through its pages as we taxied to the runway, dreaming of a life where all of our grill covers come with logos of our favorite sports teams, where all of our pool equipment is tucked away in convenient rolling carriers, and where our cats can do their business in a tasteful end table that hides a litter box.
But not everything in the SkyMall catalogue lends itself to idyllic daydreams of the sweet life surrounded by luxury goods. It's not all mail-order steaks and in-home jewelry cleaners that restore a showroom shine. Every once in a while, SkyMall ventures into some strange territory. And when it does, we can't help but think that some small part of us is scoffing, but a much deeper part of us kind of wants this stuff.
The Singing Pool Gondolier
There's no real way to describe this other than saying it's a robotic gondolier operator that calmly paddles his way around your pool, singing sweet digital Venetian tunes to all of your guests. This is a very strange item, but if we're being honest, if you have a pool and $60 in robot gondolier money burning a hole in your pocket, we want to party with you.
Life-Sized Velociraptor Lawn Statue
The SkyMall catalogue actually devotes an entire section to unusual lawn art; enough that we could have very easily made this article "The 12 Weirdest Pieces of Lawn Art in SkyMall." And while the eight-foot-tall gorilla statue and skeleton lawn gnome statues are a bit strange, we have to give credit to the velociraptor statue. There is literally no other reason to own this other than hoping to scare the bejeezus out of anyone who visits your home.
Bob's Affirmation Box
This is, simply put, a box. When you open it, it says affirmations from the uplifting ("You're the man, Bob!") to the slightly disturbing ("You sure are sexy, Bob!"). It's weird because now that we think about it, we don't know any Bobs. We know Roberts, Robs and Bobbys, but not many guys named Bob. And even if we did, we're not sure he'd want a box that found him attractive.
The Zombie of Montclaire Moors
Yup, that's a statue of a dead guy you can place half-buried in your lawn. Moving along.
Winky Cross Body Bag
Truth be told, we know quite a few people who would proudly wear this. It's a cross-body bag with a giant lenticular eye that winks at people as they walk by. It certainly makes a fashion statement, but if you see someone walking around with a giant eyeball strapped to their torso, do you really want to know what they're carrying around inside that bag?
BONUS: Jonathan Coulton's SkyMall
Just press play. You'll be thankful you did.
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