A Ferris Wheel in Times Square? No Thank You

Oh, hell no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Thank goodness this is temporary – um, it IS temporary, right? – because this is a hard no.

There’s a ferris wheel in Times Square in New York City.

Again – there’s a ferris wheel at the crossroads of the world.

I can’t even think of an analogy to use that describes how out of place this is. And the worst part is, according to reports this thing has been six years in the making. So it’s not necessarily a reaction to the pandemic-induced drop in tourism to New York City.

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But it is, ostensibly, mostly for tourists. I say that with all due confidence because any self-respecting New Yorker would treat a ferris wheel in Times Square like they would pineapple on a pizza – it’s heresy.

See, we New Yorkers aren’t wowed by gimmicks. We like our grit. Our attractions stand for themselves.

People don’t come to Times Square to ride a ferris wheel. That’s what church bazaars and seaside boardwalks are for. No, people come to Times Square to tell other people they visited Times Square, or to watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve, or to wait until the notorious New York City traffic breaks for a moment long enough to step in the street, with the famous electronic billboards in the background, and snap an iconic photo.

Broadway and 42nd. The most famous intersection in the world. (Although, to be accurate, Times Square is an expansive area in the heart of the city, and the ferris wheel is actually at Seventh Ave. and 47th St.)

Funny thing is, this ferris wheel was supposed to provide great views of the NYC skyline. At 110 feet tall and costing $20 for 10 minutes, if your idea of seeing the city skyline includes catching a glimpse of the world’s largest Olive Garden then you’re in luck.

If not, well, I wouldn’t exactly be looking for Central Park or Rockefeller Center.

(I mean, seriously? 110 feet tall in the heart of the city? What, did they rent this thing from a carny who worked the Dutchess County Fair?)

The ferris wheel thing actually works in other places. The wheel at Navy Pier in Chicago on the banks of Lake Michigan offers a spectacular view of the Windy City skyline. The London Eye on the River Thames gives you unparalleled views of Buckingham Palace, the Tower of London and more. And the High Roller ferris wheel already sits atop the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino, making for an incredible view of Las Vegas.

Here in New York City? Sorry, the best thing I can say about the Times Square Ferris Wheel is that it is scheduled to be dismantled on Sept. 12.