Image courtesy Universal Orlando
Universal is pulling off a nice Willy Wonka trick at the moment.
By now you have seen the news and subsequently lost your mind: Universal Studios Orlando is going to make a Willy Wonka restaurant, which is something reported on by Entertainment Weekly, iO9, Time and more.
If you are in the habit of headline reading, that sounds amazing. Just imagine somewhere that lets you walk around licking walls as you see tourists meet their ultimate demise as Oompa Loompas sing them off into the horizon.
Sadly, there will be no blueberry mishaps. And there will be no eerily well-rehearsed spontaneous choruses about the demise of various children.
According to Universal Orlando, it is making a rather awesome looking restaurant that will be highly stylized but doesn't seem to have any connection to the wonderful world of Mr. Wonka or his pint-sized minions.
Let's just say that this new feature that will open later this year, The Toothsome Chocolate Factory & Savory Feast Emporium, sounds unbelievably cool. But now all we can think about is our craving for Wonka.
Let's dive into the press release and see what we will get towards the end of 2016: "The Toothsome Chocolate Factory will be a full-service restaurant that brings together a specially created and expansive menu plus an incredible array of gourmet-level chocolates and desserts - all in a highly themed, unique environment that can only be found at Universal CityWalk."
Think of a much more lighthearted café you might discover in BioShock. It will undoubtedly leave vivid memories in your mind and exotic delights in your stomach. But we are still over here Wonka hankering.
The release continues: "Welcome to the 19th century inspired, Steampunk-era chocolate factory, complete with towering smokestacks and tanks, piping and other equipment for chocolate production. Inside, a mix of brass, dark wood and gadgetry - along with staff who will look and act the part - will complete the Steampunk feel."
Located at the Islands of Adventure, the restaurant promises surprising menu items and delicious treats for all of the senses. Menu items will include: steak, seafood, all-day crepes, themed shakes and sundaes, such as the Chocolate Brownie Bark.
Seriously, it sounds amazing. But we are still here whistling Gene Wilder's rendition of "Pure Imagination."
Both 1971's "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" and 2005's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" are based on the 1964 classic by Roald Dahl.
The most recent iteration was produced and distributed by Warner Bros. with the 1971 version getting produced by Wolper Pictures with later distribution by Paramount (theatrical) and Warner Bros. (home release).
Still, there is precedent of Warner Bros. properties that have made their way onto Universal shores like "Beetlejuice" and Harry Potter fare.
We aren't quite sure why Universal Orlando didn't just go up one notch and garner the rights to make what would have been the most amazing feasting experience ever conjured. We imagine this is much ado about publications spinning clever headlines.
Now this isn't to say that we are already over the Toothsome experience, because we are giddy to drop by and put on our dinner bib to protect us from the ensuing mess.
It's just that, well, we want a Wonka restaurant and we want it now.
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